Falling hard

This is the scariest, most beautiful feeling that I’ve ever felt in my entire life. The act of opening my heart so completely and blindly to someone else and hoping that he takes care of it and doesn’t find a reason to crush it in his hands. I don’t know if I should run into his open arms or full speed in the opposite direction. But I know what I want and I’m going to listen to my heart for once and shut out the screaming doubts in my head. After all no one ever said to “listen to your head,” it’s always been “listen to your heart.” All I do is think of him and miss him and want him more. I want his arms around me as the morning light shines through my blinds and illuminates the green walls of my room. The same green as his eyes. I’ve never been in love before, but I honestly think that what is happening right now is that I’m falling in love. I know this because I don’t know how to even to begin to explain how I feel. This feeling, this happiness is so new and refreshing and…REAL. This is truly so beautiful, the way he makes me feel. I feel beautiful, confident, safe. There is something special going on between two people if we get so much excitement from the idea of just spending an afternoon together snuggled underneath blankets and watching Disney movies. You know what it is? Simplicity. These moments are so pure and simple. How I can just lay in his arms and fall asleep right there to the rhythm of his heartbeat. How we don’t have to say a word and it’s not awkward. The silence between us, the only sound is him exhaling as I inhale. And then I can feel his green eyes on me so I look up and we smile at the same time because we both know there is no place in the universe we would rather be. I wouldn’t trade those moments for the world. I’m falling in love with him. As scary as it is to say that since I only have 17 days left until college, it’s completely true. I can’t lie to myself, especially when what I feel for him is so strong. I miss him. I will always miss him until I am back in his arms once again.